Instant Yoga Butt

            I think you've all seen the Old Navy commercial in which they advertise how their yoga pants can give you an "Instant Yoga Butt".  I think I need to hit up Old Navy for some "Instant Yoga Flexibility".  God has blessed me in many many ways.  I have always been one of those people who can do most things well.  I've dabbled in everything from singing, acting, playing piano and saxophone, art, dancing, sports, etc. etc.  I am a jack of all trades, master of nothing.  However, during my creation, God or my mother or father...or whoever it was involved in the decision making of my genetic make-up completely forgot to put in the flexibility gene.  I am not flexible people!!! I mean it is seriously lacking in my make-up.  I'm not exaggerating people.  I AM NOT FLEXIBLE.  It's not like one of those things where I'm boo hooing because I can't put my foot behind my head.  Hear me now:  I cannot even touch my toes!!!  It's ridiculous.  In fact I never remember being flexible.  I remember being a child in dance class...a child...the time when humans are supposed to be freakishly flexible and bendy....and I don't think I could touch my toes even then!!  In fact, my lack of flexibility is the main reason I quit ballet and focused on jazz and tap.
             As an adult it has just gotten worse, although I haven't noticed it until recently.  Once out of the dance world I rarely had opportunity for my flexibility to be tested.  Even in ballroom dancing flexibility is not mandatory.  Although it can lend itself to some pretty cool moves.  Now, for the first time since ballet class I am faced with the perils of my rock solid muscles.  Inflexibility meet your match......YOGA.
            One of my three intentions when I started Yoga was to gain flexibility through all of the stretches.  Two months into it, not only am I no more flexible than I used to be, but now I've kinda developed a complex about it.  One of the beautiful things about yoga is when you look into the mirrors and every person in the entire room is holding the same position.  It really is a feeling of peace, togetherness, and unity.  However, when we are lying on our backs and have our legs lifted in a stretch....all the beautiful legs are bent close to everyone's head...and there's my stupid leg, barely 90 degrees from the floor throwing off the whole stupid picture, balance, harmony, etc.  It is so embarrassing.  Normally, I'm the best in everything I do...but now for once...I am literally the worst.  Not only are the men more flexible than I am .....the 60 and 70 year old women are too!!!  In fact, in every single class I attend, no matter who is there...I am always the least flexible.  I'm beginning to think that I am deformed.
            Perhaps it will get better with time.  Perhaps it is just physically impossible for me to ever have anything resembling flexibility.  Maybe one day Old Navy will add some tweaks to their yoga pants
and I can get some instant flexibility.  Here's hoping....just checked.....still can't touch my toes.  :(